The person I am

It's hard being me... 

I'm the one who's not allowed dates with the tv

Expected to stop watching Disney 

Even though it really makes me happy.

Forced to hide again in the kitchen while I let you be.

It's hard being me...

When all I get are screams from mummy

And dark looks from daddy

As I've lost a job; no money.

To your eyes I'm stupid;

As I did own a degree

But it's hard being me.

You say, "be somebody!"

"Not a sales girl - a nobody"

But I'm happy

My choice was what making me free

I smile and my heart was not heavy

As I loved being me.

Most days I feel like I'm crazy

I have no place in this family.

I feel that I'm just renting a room;

As there's not many here liking me.

It's hard being me...

My pills - these pills; are all I see

It promised me of serenity

Quietness; no screams already 

No movement, not even mockery

All that's left is just my body

Then it won't be hard being me.

I know I'm a mistake, I'm sorry

You shouldn't have me as a baby

I'm hopeless; that's all I'll ever be

But I'm trying hard you see!

When I'm dead, I know you'll be happy

You'll get your perfect little family.

No more lost cases like me

Cos I'm not like you or anybody.

I'm sorry.

I can't fulfill your "destiny"

I can't buy you a honda or an Audi 

I can't give you lots of money

I can't even spend on me.

I'm sorry...

But with a family like this;

It's hard being me